They say knowledge is power — but when it comes to dementia, it’s also peace of mind.
According to a 2022 CDC survey, 1 in 9 Americans over 65 are likely to develop dementia — and those numbers are rising. It can be hereditary, and while researchers at the National Institute on Aging recommend the Mediterranean diet, regular exercise, social engagement, and avoiding smoking, alcohol, and stress — the truth is, no one knows exactly what causes it or how to stop it.
That’s the part that’s both mysterious and deeply concerning.
The Call That Changed Everything
One afternoon, I got a call from a police officer asking if I had “lost a dad.”
Confused, I said, “Uh… no?”
He explained that my father had run out of gas somewhere near San Diego. When he stopped to help, he realized something wasn’t right — Dad didn’t know where he was or why. He was supposedly on his way to a “convention” with friends who weren’t even there.
That’s when Officer Kavanaugh decided to look through his wallet and found several cards — all with my name, phone number, and address. I realized later that my dad had left similar notes around his home — reminders in the bathroom that said things like:
“Floss. Brush. Mouthwash. Then shower.”
It was his way of fighting back against what he already knew was happening. His “just in case.”
Facing the Diagnosis
Eventually, the VA doctors confirmed what we feared: Dementia.
By then, he didn’t care much about the label. The disease had already taken pieces of who he once was — and replaced them with someone unfamiliar but oddly carefree.
Personality changes are common in dementia, though I count myself lucky. Some families face anger and aggression. I got a version of my dad who was… softer. Almost serene.
Still, watching someone’s memories fade is like losing them one moment at a time.
When Forgetfulness Becomes a Fear
After my father’s diagnosis, I found myself becoming hyper-aware of my own forgetfulness. Misplacing my keys or repeating a story made me wonder, Is it starting?
If you’ve ever felt that way, you’re not alone. But not every memory slip means dementia. Here are a few differences that can help you tell the two apart:
| Normal Aging | Possible Dementia |
|---|---|
| Occasionally making small mistakes with bills | Frequent difficulty paying bills or following plans |
| Forgetting the day but remembering later | Losing track of dates, seasons, or locations |
| Searching for the right word | Constantly forgetting words or using the wrong ones |
| Misplacing things but finding them again | Putting items in strange places and accusing others of stealing |
| Making an occasional bad decision | Repeatedly showing poor judgment |
| Feeling tired of social events sometimes | Withdrawing from hobbies and people |
| Developing quirks over time | Dramatic mood or personality changes |
Preparing — Just in Case
As of 2024, 6.9 million Americans are living with dementia. That’s 1 in 9 — and counting.
So, what can we do? We prepare. Not from fear, but from love.
Here are a few steps that helped me navigate my father’s journey — lessons that might help you too:
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Get power of attorney for medical and financial matters early.
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Talk to your family about roles and responsibilities before crisis hits.
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Set up medical directives and advanced care plans.
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Add a trusted family member to bank accounts or bills so transitions are smooth.
These aren’t easy conversations, but they are acts of care. I learned all of this the hard way — by stumbling through paperwork, confusion, and moments of deep uncertainty. But in the end, I found clarity, compassion, and a roadmap for the future.
Because life can change in an instant — and it’s always better to be ready, just in case.
Final Thoughts
Dementia may take memories, but it doesn’t have to take connection, dignity, or love.
Preparing for the unknown doesn’t mean expecting the worst — it means giving yourself (and your loved ones) a chance to handle life’s surprises with grace.
And in that preparation, there’s peace — the kind we can create long before we ever need it.
