If you’ve ever been in a narcissistic relationship, whether with a partner, a boss, or even a family member, you know it feels like living in a fog. You keep second-guessing yourself. You’re walking on eggshells. One moment you’re praised, and the next you’re torn down.
But staying in that fog too long doesn’t just hurt your feelings; it affects your whole life. I think our world is filled with the normalization of these types of relationships. I think about my aunties, uncles, and even some of the great ancestors, and the unhappiness they endured for a lifetime. Contrary to many people’s opinions, longevity doesn’t always mean happiness. We never know what’s going on behind closed doors, but I knew what went on behind some of my family members’ white picket fences, and it wasn’t all peaches and cream. Each one of the family members in question experienced physical, mental, and/or emotional abuse. After many years, a few acquired different types of physical and emotional ailments, from strokes, heart attacks, and depression to alcoholism, paranoia, and homelessness. According to Psychology Today, there has been a rise over the past few decades in people with narcissistic traits, particularly amongst the younger generations. Well, what happens to us when we choose to tolerate toxic or narcissistic environments over a long period of time? How does it truly affect us, emotionally, socially, and physically? Here’s what I came up with.
1. The Emotional Toll: Losing Yourself
Narcissistic relationships are like a slow emotional burn. Over time, you start to believe the things you’re told, like you’re not enough, you’re too sensitive, or you can’t do anything right.
Living with constant criticism or manipulation can lead to:
- Anxiety – always waiting for the next blow-up
- Depression – feeling hopeless or trapped
- Low self-worth – forgetting who you were before the abuse
Psychologists call this gaslighting, when someone makes you doubt your reality. A 2020 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that long-term exposure to emotional manipulation is strongly linked to chronic anxiety and loss of self-confidence.
2. The Physical Cost: Stress in the Body
Toxic relationships don’t just break your heart; they hurt your health. Chronic stress floods your body with cortisol and adrenaline, keeping you in “fight or flight” mode.
Over time, this can lead to:
- Trouble sleeping or constant fatigue
- Headaches, stomach issues, or chronic pain
- Weakened immune system
- Higher risk of heart problems
According to research published in Psychosomatic Medicine (2017), people in high-conflict relationships are more likely to experience inflammation and immune dysfunction; this is clear evidence that emotional abuse has physical consequences.
3. The Social Impact: Isolation and Disconnection
Narcissists often try to control the narrative by isolating you, subtly or directly. You may start pulling away from friends or family because you’re embarrassed, exhausted, or afraid of conflict.
The result?
- Losing your support network when you need it most
- Feeling alone, even when you’re not
- Becoming more dependent on the toxic person for validation
This isolation makes it even harder to leave. Research in Personality and Individual Differences (2018) highlights how victims of narcissistic abuse often withdraw socially, which reinforces feelings of helplessness and dependence.
Why It’s So Hard to Walk Away
Here’s the thing: no one stays because they enjoy the pain. People stay because of fear, hopelessness, hope, or conditioning. Narcissistic relationships often cycle through love and abuse, with just enough kindness to make you think that this time it just may be different.
That push and pull creates what psychologists call a trauma bond. It’s powerful. And it’s why even strong, bright, capable people can feel stuck.
The Good News: You Can Heal
Leaving a narcissistic relationship isn’t always easy. I know it wasn’t easy for some in my family, considering the time period they were from, but I think that staying could have cost them more than they realized. The good news is, we know better today, and if you’ve been through trauma yourself, your brain and body can recover. Studies on neuroplasticity (Doidge, 2007) show that with therapy, support, and self-care, the brain can rewire itself, helping people rebuild self-worth and resilience.
Healing begins with believing you are worthy of peace. And you ALWAYS are.